The Brita Life

So I bought a Brita water filter. Not one of those pitchers, but the kind that screws onto your faucet. To be perfectly honest I did not do this to save the planet, but to save money on buying bottled water. I'm not that green I guess just cheap. Well moving on, the filter has a light system that tells the consumer when the filter has gone bad and needs to be replaced. Much like the traffic signal system, a green light means you are good to go, and a solid red light means do not drink this water it is poisonous. Maybe not poisonous, but at the very least, not filtered which is the same as poison I'm sure. Well anyway, the other day I noticed that my ice-cold refreshing water was tasting a little bit funny so I decided to replace the filter, realizing it had been some time since the filter had been replaced. So I changed the filter, did a taste test, and declared everything back to normal. I then noticed that the indicator light on the filter was no longer coming on. So whether the filter is on green for go or on red for poison water, I will not know unless I notice a difference in how it tastes. To be perfectly honest as long as the water is super cold, it all tastes the same, so I will probably slowly ingest poison without knowing it until I just drop dead. I have no idea if the filter is even doing its job. The whole filter system should probably be replaced.

I can't help but think how our lives tend to function in the same way as the Brita water filter. We all have a filter, whether we choose to acknowledge its presence or not, we have ways of determining what is good and healthy for us and what is not. Everyday we encounter a number of different situations and scenarios. These different situations will have different degrees of influence on us based on what kind of filter we have. I think a lot of us are having problems with our filters. I started thinking about this one day during during one of my classes. In the class we were discussing the impact of the media on youth culture, and whether or not being exposed to certain things at an early age is healthy for growth and development. My professor asked a very interesting question. He asked the class who all had seen someone having sex before. Not necessarily in person, just in a movie, on the internet, or what have you. This question really stuck out to me. I really began thinking about how much of an impact the things I watch have on me. The class was about spiritual formation, so his ultimate question was "does whatever you are doing help mold or shape you into a greater likeness of Jesus Christ or does it do the opposite?" I think this a great filter. But it is only a great filter if becoming like Jesus is your goal.

Why did I buy the Brita filter? While I wanted to save money, the ultimate goal was pure and clean water. In order to stay healthy and feel healthy, I need to first put clean and pure things in. When I had the light, it was easy to tell when I was doing this, but now that the light has gone out, it's not as easy. I think it is time we checked our filters. Maybe they need to be changed, or maybe we have become really desensitized and our filter lights have gone out. I think we need to watch what we take in, need to monitor what is influencing us. But the filter is not the end goal, it is simply a tool that helps us get there. This is not a post about how we must remove everything "secular" from our lives. This is however a post calling us to examine how much influence any form of media has on our lives. I don't think that media controls our lives, but I do think it impacts us on some level.

Just recently my roommate and I have undertaken the quest of watching every Seinfeld episode in order before we graduate from college. I am a long-time Seinfeld fan and enjoy watching the show. But it might be time to check the filter. While I might not mirror the lifestyles of the characters on the show, I do however find myself being quite sarcastic and biting towards people at times. I will probably continue watching the show and complete our quest, but that doesn't mean I have to let the things I watch influence how I act. So when is the last time you checked your filter? Are the things you are watching or listening to strengthening or breaking down your relationships? Maybe I'm on to something...or maybe it's just a musing of a modern-day sasquatch

Summer 2010

My last week of summer starts tomorrow. Amidst the chaos of planning an end of summer banquet and fitting every little last thing in before I leave, I have begun to think back over the time I have spent here and evaluate what I have learned, especially since I have to turn it in for a grade...

I spent my summer as a youth intern for Grace Crossing, a church down in the Conroe/Woodlands area of Texas. I spent my days on youth trips, going to camps, eating fast food, planning events, playing disc golf, attending staff meetings, playing ultimate on the church lawn, and other exciting happenings like being stranded on the side of the road. I got to work under the supervision of two extraordinary people, one of which I knew and the other I didn't, but am glad to say I know both of them better now. I learned a lot this summer. I learned more about teaching, about dealing with both kids and chaperons on youth trips, and about Quelf a very fascinating and entertaining game. I stayed with an awesome family and fit right in with my red haired beard. I had many invaluable talks about ministry and life in general which I don't think I would have got in a classroom. I was reminded about hope, something I had almost forgot about. I got to be apart of a very healthy team of ministers and see a great group of church elders at work. It was an excellent summer and I loved every far too quickly passing second. But all the while I heard a whisper in the back of my mind that grew louder and louder as the summer went on. A whisper that had been there for some time, but I had not quite made it out yet.

Am I Enough?

A question that many people ask themselves on a regular basis; usually in reference to their performance or adequacy in their job or relationships or whatever it may be. A question that plagues the mids of many with doubt. But I was not asking myself this question this summer. I was not questioning my ability or performance as a youth minister. This time the question came from God, and to no surprise his questions are harder to answer.

God was not questioning his ability or power, for that is infinite. God was asking me if I could be content with just him; even if everything else was gone would I be satisfied? would I feel fulfilled and complete with nothing but my relationship with him? If my stuff was gone, if my plans all fell through, if nothing went my way, or even if I had everything going for me, could I let it all go, could I view it as rubbish in comparison to knowing Christ and my relationship with him?

You see I talked on this very subject near the beginning of the summer during the weekly Wednesday night worship time. After that night I began to hear that whisper more distinctly. I find it odd that they scheduled me to talk about this because I had been thinking about the concept of contentment since the fall semester of 2009. Probably just coincidence I'm sure...

As is the case every time I speak at some devotional, the lesson or point God is trying to get across to the youth he is also trying to get across to me.

It is a humbling question you see because I would never have considered myself materialistic. I have never really considered myself to have a lot of stuff. By all means I know that I am extremely blessed, but it seemed like I always just had the essentials. But this idea was challenged this summer. What really is essential? If I am not deepening my relationship with The Most High, how far away from "the essentials" am I really?

It is almost impossible to notice this unless your routine gets disrupted. Mine got disrupted in a pretty big way. This summer for periods of time I have had to do without two things that my day all but revolves around: a vehicle and a phone. It's amazing how much bigger the world seems when you don't have a car or how disconnected you feel from the world and everyone in it when you don't have a phone. Life keeps going but in a way your participation seems limited. But what is more essential: being able to go wherever you want, or being able to go where you are wanted? Being able to access the world at your fingertips and connect with anyone, or connecting with the one who made the world and everyone in it with his fingertips? My situation could definitely be described as inconvenient, but all that really means is I could not do what I wanted when I wanted it. Instead of relying on myself to provide, I had to trust God. Not that it was a bad thing. Because in the end all my stuff is just stuff. It fades away as quickly as it got here. But there was one constant this summer; there was one thing that I could hold on to when everything else failed; and that thing was God.

So I wish I could say that I now have complete understanding of this topic, but the truth is I am am just getting started. All I know is that God will only be satisfying when I stop eating from the other trees and pick him instead. It seems ridiculous that choosing one thing over hundreds of other things could be satisfying, but then again it is the one thing that didn't change all summer...maybe I'm on to something or maybe it's just a musing of a modern-day sasquatch.

F is for Friendship

Recent events have caused me to realize what a blessing it is to have people in your life that care about you. This seems like a no-brainer, but I guess sometimes it takes some kind of chaotic event to bring this truth to light. While it is pretty sad that sometimes it takes something unfortunate to happen for you to realize the good stuff in life, I am glad to have recognized the blessing of friends.

This past week I once again faced the all to familiar situation of my car breaking down. This time on I-45 during rush hour with a car-full of Jr. High girls... definitely a memorable experience to say the least... But joking aside I was extremely blessed to coast off the highway and into a parking lot without being hit or having to push my vehicle any distance at all.

But the avoidance of death was not the only blessing I would receive that day or the days to follow. For I found myself surrounded by people who care about me. Not just people who take interest in my well-being by asking me how the car is, or if it is fixed yet, or being willing to listen to the incredibly long story attached to the experience; but people who take interest in my well-being by actively involving themselves to ensure my well-being...if that makes sense. Over the past few days I have witnessed several people who have dropped everything to help me out. (They may not have dropped everything, but it at least appeared that they had, and that is the most important part) It is not that I am surprised people actually do this for others, and it is not that I have never experienced such kindness before; I am simply thankful that I have friends. I am also blow away by the impact people have on each other's lives, and I don't know what life would be like if I tried to live it by myself, or can't imagine why I ever try to anyway.

I think I try because a lot of heroes try, and since I want to be a hero, it makes logical sense to try; try and make it on my own that is.

1. Superman: does everything by himself. But who wouldn't if they were invincible and super strong or super fast or whatever.
2. Batman: Kind of a loner
3. John Wayne: A man's man. Doesn't need anybody. Pretty sure that guy could tackle the west by himself
4. Lone Ranger: sure there is Tonto, but I think the name speaks for itself
5. James Bond: Has really cool stuff, saves the world, and gets the girl usually all by himself.
6. Indiana Jones: he does have a posse, but he is the one doing all the work
7. Any character Clint Eastwood has ever played: From The Man with No Name to Walt Kowalski in Gran Torino, Clint makes it clear to everyone that he doesn't need anybody.

The list could go on and on, but I think this list suffices for the point.

Basically we have this idea thrown at us all the time that friends are great, but really we could make it without them and that ultimately you can't trust them anyway.

I mean people can be a handful. They really do get on your nerves sometimes. Dealing with people and relationships gets messy and painful at times. It can seem easier to just go it alone. Sometimes it seems best to just pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Having to depend on people seems like weakness.

But what if it isn't weakness. What if our dependence on each other isn't a sign of failure or inadequacy, but rather a sign that we are truly human? When you are on the side of the road with everywhere to go and no way to get there, going it alone doesn't seem so great. In fact needing other people, especially people with cars, sounds pretty darn good.

But what about when things are going really well? It is a little harder to keep dependence in mind when things are going well without others. Who needs people when you have everything under control or going your way. Who needs other people? The people who don't have anything under control or have anything going their way. That is who needs other people. If you don't need anyone, somebody probably could use you in their life. Who knows maybe you will have a break down some day.

I am just really thankful that there have always been people placed in my life that care about me and help me out. I'm glad to know the meaning of kindness, compassion, friendship, and every other sentimental word you could think of by watching the example of outstanding selfless people. I want to give a shout out to everyone who has been so gracious to me through all this car stuff, even if they never read this blog, they inspired the writing of it. I have definitely been blessed and wish to share that with others, because I need them way more than they need me.

A New Hope

"I have all my eggs in one basket, and I don't have a back up plan."

This is one way that hope has been described to me recently. I have come to realize that hope is one of those words that is hard to define without using the word in the definition. Most dictionaries define hope as a feeling or expectation that things are going to turn out for the best. While this true and accurate, I need (much in the same way that Boston did) more than a feeling. I need security and certainty in my hope. I need to know that things are going to in fact turn out good, that I am not setting myself up for disappointment, or failure, or pain. Having hope is not easy. Most of the time our circumstances say "lose heart" or "just give up". Most of the time it seems easier just to give up than to hold on to a promise that does not appear to be coming true. I think there are a few problems with hope today. Lots of times we follow a counterfeit hope.

I think we can all fall for a selfish hope. We all want things to turn out for the best, but only if that best refers to personal gain, personal profit, or making sure we get our way, we get what we want. True hope is not confidence that we will get what we want, but confidence that things will in fact turn out good. Not what we think is best, but that in time God will accomplish what is truly good and bring glory to his name. This seems easy in theory, but difficult in practice.

The story does not always end happily ever after. Sometimes the story doesn't even start out happy. With all the hurt and pain in the world it can sometimes appear that nothing will ever be worked out. It's a good thing there is heaven right? A place where there is no pain or sorrow sounds pretty good in the midst of trouble. There is nothing wrong with believing in Heaven or that God promises us a place with him there for eternity; the problem is that we think things will only get better in the next life - removing hope from the picture right now. I firmly believe that God is active in our lives right now; that he is at work in our lives even when we can't see and even when everything is only getting worse. Hope has to be more than something we get after we die. If Heaven is all hope is good for, then what good is it right now? What good is it in my life? Hope is confidence that God is on the move and no matter what happens, he is still in control.

It seems to me that too often than not our hope is left to chance. We say we believe that God is working, but we doubt if he really is. So instead of leaving our destiny in the hands of the unknown, we take it into our own. That way if things don't work out with the whole God thing we are covered, and if they do, we're still good. I have noticed that I do not do any better on my own than I do with God. Most of the time it gets worse.

I wonder what life would look like if we really lived true hope. If we really believed that the power that raised Christ from the dead is promised to us right now in this life. If we really believed that nothing in this world, even death, could bring us down or stop the work that God was doing in and through us. I wonder how this would change how we interacted with people.

Recently I was reminded about the importance of hope. God brought to my attention that I had lost sight of hope, and in doing so I had lost sight of him. A life without hope does not seem worth living. When there is no future, when the end of the story seems to have happened three chapters ago, why keep going? Hope dies when it is not shared, or at least grows stale and is discarded. What would happen if we lived in such a way that others were filled with hope? What if we purposefully entered situations to bring hope, or were intentional about taking hope wherever we went? Would the world still seem hopeless. Maybe the world seems hopeless because everyone is trying to just get hope for themselves. Maybe instead the answer is sharing. Maybe I'm on to something...or maybe this is just a musing of a modern day sasquatch...

The underwear drawer

As I was rumaging through my sock and underwear drawer this morning (as I do every morning before I get dressed) it dawned on me that I have several things in there that I never wear. I am not talking about thongs because I do not own any of those. I am talking about socks and boxers that are full of holes. You know the kind to which I am referring: socks that your toes stick out of and underwear that is almost unrecognizable. To be honest I really don't know how most of these items got this way...but it doesn't matter because I don't really have to think about them most of the time. I usually just stuff the holy items to the dark corners in the back of the drawer or to the bottom of the pile. Out of sight, out of mind.

But then there are the days (like today) when I am forced to deal with these less than desired items. When I can see them I know it is almost time to wash my clothes. But I don't really need these old socks or boxers to remind me of that. I really should throw them away. No one wants to wear them. It is very uncomfortable to wear socks where one of your toes sticks out the end. No one wants these things or could find them useful, but for some reason we don't throw them away.

I couldn't help but think about the things in my life that I treat the same way. Those things I stuff to the dark corners and pretend they aren't there. These things are not necessarily bad or wrong, but they are not beneficial to my life; they are not serving any productive purpose. If I am really honest with myself, I realize that pushing these things to the back of my mind doesn't really get rid of them. Because before you know it, I am going to end up dealing with them and it is going to be uncomfortable. The best thing to do is to just throw those things away. They are not really serving a purpose anyway. Maybe it is time to clean out our drawers...or maybe this is just a musing of a modern day sasquatch

I wish I was a Superhero

I wish I was a superhero.

I am pretty sure that everyone, boy or girl, wishes this at some point in their life, usually as children, but I don't think I have ever wanted it more than right now.

When I was a kid the ability to fly seemed like the best thing ever. How cool would it be if you could fly like a bird? Too cool. What a rush it would be to zoom around the sky as fast as you could, go wherever you wanted when you wanted, and maybe even stop some bad guys in the process. It also seemed awesome to have super strength. It would be so cool to break through walls, or pick up basically anthing you wanted to. I guess growing up I thought it would be cool to have the powers of Superman. It always seemed that Superman could do anything, overcoming every kind of obstacle (allbeit a villian or even kryptonite) to save the day.

Now that I am somewhat of an adult, my desire for super powers has changed, but not all that much. Recently it seems that everywhere I look all I see is people hurting in some fashion; just broken and hurting people getting beat up by the struggles of everyday life. A lot of people are looking to find a way out of the pain, and I wish I was some kind of superhero that could help them. It seems that there are so many people who go un-noticed, people who get cast aside, and I wonder who helps them. I just want to be able to put things right in the world, the way things are 'supposed to be'. I don't even know what this power would look like; it might not have a physical representation like flight or strength at all. Most days I wish I could just swoop in an just remove pain from the hearts of people, like one would pull a splinter out of your skin. Everything within me knows that something is not right, and that there has to be some way to set things for the better.

As I began thinking about the whole superhero thing more, I began to question why it was that I wanted to have these powers in the first place, and what the whole idea behind comic books is anyway. Of course I did no research on this topic, I just have a theory which is based entirely on a hunch, so this is of course completely valid. I believe the appeal of comic books, or graphic novels, is that they represent an ideal world. It is not that they paint a perfect picture full of sunshine, rainbows, and fuzzy bunnies. It is also not the superhero aspect of it, because we all know that is not real. This ideal world is not one without problems, but full of characters who combat and conquer them. What's great about these characters is that under the masks, under the tights, they are people just like you and me. Sure they have above average abilities, but they are people with real problems, and yet they rise above those problems and help others. These graphic novels provide a glimpse of hope, a hope that people are good and can help each other. That pain, and injustice, and evil can be beaten...

We all have heroes. Not just the ones in comic books, but real flesh and blood people. A lot of times our heroes are dead people. People that took a stand, and now that we can look back on their lives, we want to imitate them. But we also have present day heroes. Sometimes these people are celebrities, but I would say the true heroes are the people who make an impact in our everyday lives and make changes in our communities. One of the hardest and most painful things in life is realizing the humanity and brokenness of our heroes. We often begin to see our heroes behind a mask of the ideal, thinking they can do nothing wrong. When we see them for how they truly are, broken and fallen human beings just like us, something dies on the inside. Naturally questions and doubts begin to rise when this rug is pulled out from beneath our feet. It is hard to come to grips with a world, that you thought just might be possible, ceasing to exist. Losing a hero is basically losing stability in life. And maybe that is the worst part about it: there seems to be no control, only un-tamable chaos. "If so-and-so can fall, how can I make it?"

Maybe the hardest part (for me at least) is knowing that the same power that raised the dead, healed the sick, gave sight to the blind, and controlled nature lives in me--and yet so many times I feel completely powerless. I guess the real reason I want superpowers is because I fear being powerless, being useless. I hate standing by watching people hurt, especially people I care deeply about, and feeling unable to do anything. I feel that there has got to be something I can do to help, someway to make things right, but I have no idea what it is.

The Big Decision

Working with ACU Dining has given me the great pleasure of observing human behavior. I have always enjoyed people watching, and working in the Den gives me that opportunity. There are many tough questions facing people in this world today involving the topics of relationships, finances, career path, and religion. But there is one area in life that seems to trump all these others; One decision that is the hardest for most people to make: What would you like to drink?

Now granted, not all people are unable to answer this question. There are those select individuals in this life who have the complete confidence and security to order a drink without any hesitation. But this is a select few. Most people have no idea what they want to drink when they come into the coffee shop I work at, and in my opinion, every coffee shop. One would think, that when making the decision to go to a coffee shop the thought of getting some sort of coffee beverage would be the goal. This apparently never enters the mind of most people who walk through the door. The process ends up going something like this: either a single individual or a group of people will cross the threshold and enter the coffee shop. During the short journey from the door to the register, they will come to realize they have no idea what they are going to order. If alone the person will quickly retreat either backwards or to the side of the counter delaying the inevitable conversation of ordering. Groups of people will select the weakest member and throw them to the counter, forcing the weakling to go first while the others can rest in the security of the 'line'. The first words uttered (besides an apathetic "Hello" or "How are you?") are some of the most sheepishly verbalized thoughts ever to tickle the auditory sensors in the ear: "I...don't know what I want..." That is when they apparently see the menu for the first time, and/or become aware that we sell coffee products so they should probably order something in that category. The giant menu board must be one of the most intimidating things to look at out of any invention ever created by man. I suppose it is so threatening because while offering you the facade of free choice, your destiny is limited to the contents of the menu. It is interesting to watch people squirm in the uncomfortable silence between "I don't know what I want..." and "I guess I'll try a ______." I often wonder what thoughts are going through their heads as their eyes search desperately for the drink choice that will be their salvation. Due to the intimidation and the vast array of a predetermined number of choices, some people will defer their decision to the employee working the register. The employee, must then describe the drinks including which ones are hot and which ones are cold (because the labels on the menu are not clear enough). Some people have created a defense mechanism in order to adapt to the environment. The defensive mechanism is simple: order the same thing every time, that way you always know what you want every time you come in, and can therefore avoid the painful experience. This is usually adopted by the weak member of the group, and often, even the confident ones who come in "knowing what they want".

I don't really know why this decision holds so much clout in people's lives. By the way people act when faced to make this choice, it would seem that they were asked whether or not they were going to pull the plug on Mother Teresa in a comatose state. I mean its not really a life or death matter. Well unless you live by the mantra "you are what you eat", which in that case, life looks very different as a caramel macchiato than say a triple shot tuxedo mocha...but I digress...Anyway the choice is not that important. Maybe its fear of making the wrong choice and therefore becoming ostracized by the entire community or at least the employees. Maybe we don't understand why we are getting coffee in the first place. What I mean by that is, we live in such a 'coffee drinker' society and maybe we don't want coffee, but feel pressured to drink it in order to be accepted. If someone doesn't know they don't want coffee, then there is no way they could possibly know what they want to drink, since they might not even want a drink. And since they feel that they have to get some coffee thing, then they would naturally feel that there was a certain type of coffee drink they should get. Someone needs to tell people that, while not made of the same ingredients, all coffee drinks are created equal in the sight of God.

Perhaps that is delving too deep. Maybe the answer is simple. Maybe we just don't know what we want. Not just in the category of drinks at a coffee shop, but life in general. Perhaps this seemingly finite choice is a simple representation of then grand mystery that is life. Maybe the customers' uncertainty about what they want to drink is a direct representation of them not quite knowing where their life is heading just yet, wanting to keep their options open to all possibilities. Maybe I am on to something...or maybe this is just a musing of a modern-day sasquatch...