The Best Part Of Waking Up

Just in case this is not common knowledge, I used to work in a coffee shop. I learned a lot over my 2.5 years of working there, but still don't know that much about coffee. I did however learn more about people and how most of them believe they need coffee to survive. Much the same way a car runs on gasoline, the college students who came in were just trying to keep going. Whether it was early in the morning or late into the night, coffee provided the sustenance needed to function. And it is not just college kids, I have noticed that older adults have the same dependence on the bean based beverage, many of them unable "to be myself" or "act decent/civil" without ingesting at least one cup. The addiction runs deep.

Don't get me wrong, I am no tea-drinking King George loyalist. I drink coffee just like any true red blooded American. I take it black and drink it summer or winter rain or shine. I only drink tea iced and sweet like normal people. I find myself buying into this idea that without coffee, I can't make it. Drinking it when I wake up, and sometimes at night to stay awake. I find myself believing that i need the caffeine to function, because doesn't everyone? I can stay up as late as needed/I want to with help from coffee, and still get up early with the help of coffee. I can even eat food that makes me feel sluggish, because after all I have coffee.

Then I get a good night's sleep. I wake up feeling ready to tackle the day, and skip the cup of coffee. I feel alert and productive and go the whole day without drinking the coffee; a feat I previously thought impossible. I begin to wonder why I even drink coffee, and I slowly start to realize that coffee is a crutch. I can treat my body however I want--deprive myself of sleep, eat junk that does not provide me energy, work too much--because if I feel tired I can just drink some coffee. I can also be irresponsible--procrastinate work to the point I have to stay up all night doing it, or wake up super early to do it--because who needs sleep when I have coffee. Coffee is an excuse to live however I want with seemingly no real consequences.

I wonder if that is how I approach other things in my life. I wonder if I treat church like that? Do I just live however I want to, because after all I go to church on Sunday, that makes me a Christian, I'm on the "good" list. Do I treat Jesus like that? Do I live however I want to because, in the end, Jesus will just forgive me?

Paul asks a similar situation in the book of Romans. He writes in Romans 6:1-4

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

It seems to me, that Jesus isn't a fall back, or a safety net. Just like with coffee, I can't just do whatever I want and not expect consequences. I have to take care of my body if I want to get the most out of it. Jesus' forgiveness is not an excuse to do whatever makes me feel good, or get my way; it is a gateway into a new way of life, a better more fulfilling way of life.

This is not a post to get you stop drinking coffee. This is just a musing of a modern-day sasquatch

The Cloud

Technology never ceases to amaze me. Microsoft and Apple both have some version of "cloud" software or computing that enables you to fetch, share, and work on files from any of your devices from anywhere. I don't really know how it works, but my understanding is that if there was a file I had on my computer at the office that I needed when I was at home, I wouldn't have to drive up there to get it. and vice versa. Its new, its fresh, its exciting. Basically this cloud concept is changing the way we use computers.

If only we had something as interesting when it comes to our faith. Maybe we do

This week my attention has been turned to Hebrews chapter 11--mainly because I told my students to look at that chapter this week, and what kind of youth minister (let alone human being) would I be if I did not spend some time there myself. Hebrews chapter 11 is the infamous "Faith Hall of Fame" chapter. The chapter starts with a simple definition of faith, and then gives that definition more depth by listing example after example of people throughout the Bible who lived that definition out. The chapter is made more powerful by statements like the following:

These people all died controlled and sustained by their faith, 

but never received the tangible fulfillment of God’s promises

The whole list of people is honored for being real examples of "walking by faith," and not one of them saw the fulfillment of God's promises here on earth. For each person mentioned and referenced on the list faith was more than something they had, it was who they were. The chapter ends by telling us that God has something greater planned than seeing the fulfillment of the promises in our lifetimes, we get to become a part of something greater, connected to these faith giants. The Message translation puts it like this 

"God had a better plan for us: that their faith and our faith would come together to make one completed whole, their lives of faith not complete apart from ours."

This idea continues into the next chapter. The writer urges his readers to press on, to continue to run the race, to make our way towards Jesus each and every day. The writer says we can do this despite obstacles that stand in our way because of the "great cloud of witnesses" cheering us on. In our efforts to align our lives with Jesus', we have a whole cloud of witnesses at our fingertips. 


God planned for us to be connected, and through Jesus, we are. What if this connection to the faith giants of old was like the cloud computing we have access to today. That wherever we are, whatever we are going through, whether good times or bad, we could draw upon the faith and strength of those who have come before us, especially Jesus the "author and perfecter" of our faith. My question is, who else is in your cloud? Who else is in this network of faith whose strong example strengthens you? Who in your life can you call on?  Who else spurs you on? I firmly believe that our cloud should continue to grow. But I also believe that we need to keep another question in mind: whose cloud are you in? Who draws upon your example of faith? Maybe I'm on to something, or maybe this is just another musing of a modern-day sasquatch

Decelerated Reader

You never know who you're going to see when you go back to your hometown. Recently at a garage sale I ran into one of my old teachers from seventh grade. Apart from thinking that this was probably the last individual on earth I expected to see, I was also reminded of something else:

After seventh grade I stopped reading.

I did not stop reading all together. I still read billboards, subtitles on TV, menus at restaurants, or any other normal printed things we read every day. But I'm not talking about those things, I'm talking about books.Up until seventh grade I loved to read, and always had a book going. I loved feeding my ravenous imagination with new thoughts, and characters, and adventures. But that all stopped in seventh grade.

No one held a gun to my head, I didn't go blind, and my school didn't start burning books. I decided that I hated books and never wanted to read one again. I continued to "read" for school assignments, but even that was questionable at best and excruciatingly painful. I simply wanted nothing to do with books ever again. But how could something that had been so central to my life, be cast aside so flippantly?

Well it was not a spur of the moment decision. It all goes back to that teacher in seventh grade and a horrible program called Accelerated Reader (AR). I'm sure AR started out with good intentions: get kids interested and excited about reading books. For kids like me it was a great excuse to read things I liked and get prizes for doing it. But in seventh grade, this fell apart. My whole life I was in the advanced classes in school. But when I got to seventh grade they tried to split us up in just one course, Reading, and mix us in with other kids. Maybe they thought we would help motivate the other kids to learn, I don't know. All I do know is that it was a horrible experiment. It was not an even split. Three of us were removed from our place in the advanced class and were dumped in what could be best described as a remedial Reading class. This experience made me hate reading. It was awful. I still have nightmares...

My decision was not without consequences. I guess somehow I justified my actions by thinking I would prove something, or displace those who had "wronged" me. In truth I ended up only hurting myself. The biggest consequence was learning to take short-cuts; to get by without putting in all the effort I should. CliffsNotes can seem like your best friend. At first this may seem really impressive considering some of the papers I received "As" on in college over books I didn't read. But you can't take short cuts on everything in life. Like relationships, or even Koine Greek. You put in "C" level effort, you get "C" level results. You can only get by on luck, or charm, or raw talent for so long. Faking it often ends up in a masquerade of a life. When I think back on all the things that I learned or the things that really matter, the only ones I remember are the ones I put forth effort on.

I guess I thought I deserved more, that I was entitled to something better. And when it was not given to me the way I expected, I walked away. I left it behind. I know I was only in 7th grade, but it was still pretty childish. I wonder if I still act this way at times. I wonder about this false sense of entitlement. I wonder if my relationships with others fall into this pattern. I wonder if I view my relationship with God like this sometimes. Do I feel entitled to receive his grace, forgiveness, or blessing? And when it doesn't turn out the way I want, do I turn my back and try to find fulfillment on my own or through short-cuts? Maybe I'm on to something, or maybe this is just another musing of a modern-day sasquatch

Collect $200

I don't know how it happened, but every time my family played Monopoly growing up, I seemed to win. I'm almost positive my (at times) overly high self confidence can be attributed to all those wins. When you think about it, Monopoly is an interesting game. Its all about gaining control and power over all the other players in the game. When I think about it in that light, I'm not sure why any family would ever play that game, but we did. Its funny how much of that game has little to do with actual money-handling or budgeting skills. As a kid a knew very little about those things, yet I could win the game. Why? Because the way the die landed. So much of that game is left up to luck, chance, and free parking. Sure knowing a lot about money can help you, but if you keep rolling doubles, or land on that very unfortunate space, you wind up in jail and all that knowledge doesn't do you a lick of good. If you don't land or crucial pieces of real estate or the community chest, the game can be very unpleasant. You find yourself longing for the "go" space; desiring to just to make it around the board one more time so you can pass go and at least make some money.

The other night I couldn't sleep. Even after an endless number of sheep herds passed before my eyes, I couldn't drift off into dream land. In my restlessness I came across some old all-but-forgotten friends. I came across my old Facebook notes, which were the start and inspiration to this blog. The beginning of my online writing you could say. You can read them here: http://www.facebook.com/sir.levi.mawhirter?sk=notes (25 random things does not count...)

If you don't have Facebook, you're out of luck, but you can always use somebody else's if you're really interested in reading them.

Its always interesting to read the old things you write, whether they be blogs, Facebook notes, journals, or what have you, because they provide us with a little snap-shot of what was going on in our lives. It can be fun to see how we have changed or grown since last we wrote.

No matter where we are on the board, whether we are dominating or really hurting, it can be beneficial to go back to the start. For one it provides some relief from the onslaught that life throws at us some times. But it also comes with a bonus, a reward. It is good to look back and say "I can't believe I used to be so concerned about that!" or better yet we can see the areas where God came through for us; the times God answered our prayers. Sometimes these little things are enough to keep you in the game. So I encourage you to pass go and collect your $200. You just might be encouraged with what you find.

To Grandmother's House We Go

As a kid growing up you think that your grandparents will always be there, because they always have been. They seem almost invincible. Even when faced with health problems or other struggles that come with old age, it still seems like you will have them forever. They will continue to be there spoiling you, loving on you, and fussing over you because that's just what grandparents do. It appears that you always have a place to go, you are always welcome at Grandma's house. But then funerals happen.

Both of my grandmothers died this past year a few months apart.

I'm not gonna write how it was God's plan and one day we will understand, because I don't believe that.

The truth is that it sucks, its difficult, and it creates hard questions without answers. Losing someone is never easy because you don't just lose a person, you lose meaningful relationships, you lose a piece of your heart, and that hurts. But this isn't a post where I vent about those things. This is a tribute.

This a tribute to the life my grandmother's lived and encouraged me to live by the impact they had on me and countless others. This is a tribute to the values and principles instilled in me through two women who have inspired me to live for something greater than myself. This post is a tribute.

My grandmothers taught me the meaning of sacrifice. You don't realize it as a small child, but as you grow older  you do, especially hearing the stories told at funerals and visitations. Both of my grandmothers had humble beginnings and humble ends. They constantly gave of themselves. Both devoted themselves to following Christ and teaching others to do the same. They didn't have much, but what they did have they gave freely to others. They were generous women. They always made sure their families were taken care of, often at the expense of themselves. They were servants in the true sense of the word: helping those in need with no thought to their own needs. They taught me the importance of family. They showed me how to love unconditionally. I learned more about Christ through the lives of these women than all the college courses I took could teach me.

I miss them. I miss the kindness and tenderness in their eyes. I miss the hugs. I miss the games we played. Certain places and Holidays for sure change, because their meaning was tied to my grandmothers. I miss them. I miss the love they always showed me no mater what. I didn't deserve it, or have a right to it, but they showed me love all the same. Even though they have passed on, doesn't mean they are gone forever. I have my memories and those can't be taken away. The lessons they taught me, the principles they instilled in me are pieces of them that will never pass away. And the more I share with others, the longer my grandmothers will live on. They live on through me. A life could never be completely summed up or fully honored with words on a page. My only hope is to impact the lives of others they way they impacted me.

Grandma's house isn't quite the same without grandma. Its hard to find out your grandparents aren't as invincible or permanent as you once thought as a kid. But this post is about the parts of them that are. I know one day I will once again travel to grandma's house. One day we will sit down at a table and catch up as if nothing had ever happened, and I look forward to that day.

In the year of our Lord...

I am late on this, but oh well...

2011 was a weird year.

There is no way that I could have predicted all the events 2011 brought. Primarily because I tried, and none of those things happened. A lot of life altering events happened to me and people close to me. Some great things took place. I graduated from college, got a job, and moved into a new city completely on my own. I finally crossed into the threshold of "adulthood," or my own definition of it anyway.  I ran a 5K for the first time in my life, actually 2 in the same month. I took road trips with friends. Got the chance to work with one of my role models over the summer. I met new people and started new relationships that impacted my life in big ways.

The year was also marked with darker times. Watched people struggle with unemployment. Saw pain, confusion, hard abrupt changes, and loneliness. Saw relationships end as people drifted apart. Had both of my grandmothers pass away. In the end it almost seemed like the year was more pain than good, more disappointment than joy. Gloom,  brokenness, and hurt were prominent threads.

Its was a year of experiences. It was a year full of questions. It was a weird year.

I feel that I should add a disclaimer here: My life is not horrible, and I am not depressed. There were several really good things and positive highlights in 2011. But I did notice a common theme to the events of my life and the lives of those close to me. There were more valleys than mountain peaks, hill tops, or even plateaus.

It was weird year because gloom, brokenness, and hurt are not the threads one would pick first if they were writing the story of their life.

It seems to me that as we go through life we get this idea in our heads of how things "should" play out. We have a picture in our minds of how we want the story to end. But most of the time, the story takes a vicious turn, one far away from the ideal we so desperately wanted or expected. It seems like the story just ends rather abruptly without wrapping up loose ends or bringing closure. And without warning the next story starts and we are caught in the middle of a new story before we were ready to leave the first one.

I think we are under the illusion that we are responsible for writing the end of the story. This is untrue. The truth is: the beginning and the end have already been written. God made all things in the beginning, and in the end will restore all things back to himself.  But we find ourselves in the middle, and sometimes the middle just isn't that great, but it does make all the difference. Because just like Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Harry Potter, or the stuff Donald Miller writes, its the hard times that make the story worth telling.

I learned a lot this past year. I learned about who I am, about who my friends and family are, and about who God is. I think my most valuable lesson I learned is this: The pressure to make everything turn out all right, to make sure the ending is "happily ever after" is completely off our shoulders. Even though it doesn't seem like it amid all the pain, failure, and heartache, we have already been made right. All we have to do is trust that God is already helping us live into the ending of the story. That is the good news.

Slump

So every now and again I seem to fall into a spiritual slump. Its nothing I set out to do, it just sort of happens. I'm sure other people experience the same thing. Its sorta like walking around in a fog, hoping for the sun to come out so you can feel a little warmth and see a little more clearly. Its not the greatest of feelings, and its not the worst, its just blah...

So recently I stumbled into one of these said "slumps." The biggest surprise was not the slump, but the timing. I had just gotten back from a conference in San Diego California, and everything was and had been going really well in my life. Things could not have been smoother sailing. No real reason for a slump. It just didn't make sense. My slump was logic-defying.

And then, while attending a Bible study, a passage of scripture jumped out at me. I wish I could say I had sought out the solution to my slump in the Bible; or I had gone to the Bible study to in fact study and learn about scripture earnestly. Neither of those would be true. But nonetheless the passage jumped out at me.

The passage is found in Acts 10 & 11, where Peter receives a vision, goes and talks to a Gentile named Cornelius, tells him about Jesus, and Gentiles are accepted as followers of Jesus. At the Bible study we discussed how important the passage was; how the gospel is for everyone, all peoples, all nations. We also discussed that you can be a good person like Cornelius, but if Jesus isn't the Lord of your life, you missed it. A beautiful story full of theological meaning. But none of that stuff stood out to me...What jumped off the page at me was Peter's role in the story.

 Peter has always been one of, if not my top favorite character in the Bible. He is your average Joe, who doesn't always get it, but gives it 100% anyway. I feel like I can relate to him. He likes to pray on roof tops, which I loved doing in Abilene when we still had a ladder. If you are unfamiliar with the story Peter receives a vision from God where a giant sheet comes down loaded with "unclean" food. God says eat, and when Peter says no, God says "everything I made is clean." This was referring to Gentiles being included, and how the gospel is for everyone. But that's not what jumped off the page at me. Here is what stuck out to me:

The whole sheet scenario Where God says "eat", Peter says "no", and God says "Everything I made is clean" happens three times. Three times.



but that's not all

At the beginning of the story, we find out that Peter was hungry. Peter was hungry, and God gave him a vision about food.

These two things screamed at me off the page. I think this passage tells us a little something about God. Peter was hungry. God used his hunger to teach him something important, to grow his faith. And even when Peter didn't get it, God didn't give up. He just repeated himself until Peter got it.

It tells me that God shows up in our lives right where we are, not expecting us to make it to his level.

I think that is how God works in the slumps of life. He meets us where we are, slump and all, and calls us to move forward, to grow despite the slump. Like Peter, we may not get it at first because it involves letting go of how we have always believed. Don't worry, God will keep on repeating it until we get it. My question is, whether you are in a slump or not: What in your life is God using to speak to you? What is God using to call you into further growth? If you are like me or Peter, you have probably heard it a few times already.